2004-01-01 - 8:02 a.m.
Well it's time to reflect on the year and make all those resolutions that I have no intentions of keeping.
First reflection is brought to you by another one of my fabulous walks. This time while walking I realized I spend too much time thinking of how poor I am and not how rich. Financially my cup doth not runeth over. But in love, friendship, inner stregnth and intelect I think it does. Even health wise I am far richer than many others out there.
I have some of the most amazing friends. Ragen Graf, you are like a godsend in my life. Not every queer gets to have a "Grace". You make me laugh and make me see things about myself. Amazingly Babes has the ability to see to the heart of me and know where my heart is. People talk about soul mates all the time in a way that refers to them as a romantic interest. I don't think that's always how a soul mate works. I think in my life I was blessed with 3.
Marc my other soul mate, who I don't have to call or talk to for him to know something is wrong. Marc has this uncanny ability to call when I am at my lowest just because he knew I needed him. No other person in this world has been what Marc has for me. A friend, a brother and someone out to genuinely protect my heart, my life and my spirit.
And Ann Rob, no one believes in me like she does. When I am ready to throw in the towel, ready to just say fuck it or can't see the light at the end of the tunnel, Ann is behind me pushing me toward my goals. Mentally Ann keeps me grounded and is always there to lend an ear and understand my fustration. Her honesty with me and up front realism lets me know that she is an invaluable friend. And after all these years, all the arguments and fights I know there is nothing I can't say to her and nothing she can't say to me and we will work it out.
To my three soul-mates, thank you for getting me through 2003.
My roommates are amazing. Paul can make me laugh at the silliest shit. He understands my babbling and ramblings and tolerates my constant insults on his repubicanism. Although he should tolerate them because being a card carrying, NRA loving republican is like asking to be commited to a mental asylum. But I love him anyway. It's funny because when I met Paul I used to think he was an evil bitch that I wanted to strangle. Now that Ragen, Marc and Ann have been promoted to soul-mates/guardian angels theres positions open for best friend.
Craigory, you are the most bitter person I know, next to Ann that is. My heart goes out to you and I wish you all the happiness in the world. I love you darlin. Confession, yeah I used to have a crush on you. Twisted. Thank you for putting up with my bitchiness. There were days this year when I know you probably wanted to hang me, dismember my body and toss it in the Jordan River. Thanks for not doing that too. You're amazing just as you are. (Except cheer up mother fucker or that little jingle about assisted princess. . . yeah)
Greg, Ronnie, Ken, Kellen, Chris Stoth, Steve Ant, Jason G, and all my DLP brothers. Thank you for showing me what a family is. Youve taught me that its not because of blood that we care, its the bonds of understanding and love that create a family. Youve made me realize some of my own faults in my blood family and youve been there for the good times, the bad and the freaky. One regret, there weren't enough "Princess Drunk" moments this year. Lets work on that.
Most of what I learned this year wasn't in school, it was in the world. Work was a roller coaster. being a supervisor, and a friend to the staff was a compromise. It's interesting learning how to balance the two. I worked and moved up. Definately a good experience this year. Being cussed out didnt hurt. It helped. And gave me material for my comedy show whenever I start that shit.
And in the love dept. I dated, I learned, I . . . . (you fill in the blank) and I learned more. But I have devoted entirely too much time to this in past entries. So all I will say is this. I took it from a friends profile. "Just gotta say we all learn something from past loves/lovers . . . and then we move on till we find the real thing . . . the real thing will be worth all that shit you put up with (before him/her) along the road waiting to find that person . . . just know that you ARE worth real love and affection! " A special thanks to ___________ .(once again you fill in the blank) You showed me that someone will love me and can. I'm a little sorry that it couldn't have been you. But wouldn't trade it for the world. (Whitney Houston starts playing. . . yeah you know which song.) I haven't heard from you really so good luck. I hope you find what you're looking for.
My mother, father, sisters, brothers, they all love me for who I am and maybe even in spite of it. Thank you family. Not just for the money, but for the times I wished I was adopted and the times I was glad I belonged to you.
I'm wealthy regardless of what my bank account says. Yeah I may have worked non-stop this year and worked my ass off with school. But it was worth it. And the good times this past year really did prove the old addage to be true. "The best things in life are free."
I didn't quit smoking this past year, I didn't lose all the weight I wanted and I didnt get gastric bypass. (Still working on that last one.) I'm not making those resolutions this year though. This year my resolution is this. . . Take it one day at a time.
Well 2003 you weren't drama free. But you kicked ass anyway. Bring it on 04'. Bring it the fuck on!!!!
