2003-03-22 - 2:28 a.m.
My heart has been locked in an eternal February, Reliving that month again and again. My wounds have been reopened, Time and time again, Just to realize that there was no way to heal the pain. The only solution was a revolution, of my heart and mind and soul.
My heart has been locked in an eternal February, Letting you let me down repeatedly. My eyes have dried, only to recry the same tears, The ones I'd hoped you'd wipe away. The only solution was to move on, Leaving February behind.
I hate February anyway.
There isn't a whole lot to report considering I am on Spring Break right now. Everyone in town is virtually gone. I stayed in Bloomington to work at the hotel. Iv'e been working nights this week so I am up all night and asleep all day. Not bad but still it is going to throw off my body for a while.
I went to lunch with Jeff this week. Yes, I refered to him by name and not by Cap'n Asshole or by any other screwed up name. I didn't call him the past love of my life or ex. Simply Jeff. He is my ex-roommate. That's it. I decided part of letting go finally was letting go of the bitterness as well. Moving on with my life and love and the whole deal is complete. So here I am shedding my thorns. You know that song by Aretha Franklin, "A Rose is still A Rose", well I am still a rose.
This guy from back home and I may be working on seeing if something can work out between us. He and I get along well and we are both fun loving people. He sees me for who I am. He sees my potential and appreciates every aspect of me. Am I taking another chance? Yes. Isn't that what life is all about? If you don't take the chances you sit back wondering what could have, would have or should have been. I don't want to be an old fag wondering those things.
I have a problem with shopping. I can't stop. If I go near a mall the only thing that stops me from buying any and everything in sight is if there is no money in my account whatsoever. I wonder if there is a wing in Betty Ford for things like that. I could use the vacation. :)
