2002-11-30 - 1:00 a.m.
Many of us tend to over analyze things and second guess the meaning of various things that happen or are said to us. We extract intracate extentuous meaning from something that is simple and straight forward. We especially do this when we are dating someone or have an interest in someone. So we comprise the rules.
1. If a boy describes the person he would like to end up with or date it doesn't mean shit. Just because you think that you fit his description of the perfect significant other does not mean that you are going to be that person or that he has an interest in you. Furthermore you are probably dillusional and don't really fit what he just described. You, however, want to be that so you project those things on to yourself. Additionally this does not mean that you should suddenly change and try to become this person because he won't notice the change and think, "Oh it was right in front of me all along." Besides you wouldnt be being yourself and who wants a fake or phony person.
2. If a guy says, "Yeah, you're attractive," it doesn't mean shit. First of all he is a male and all males lie. It's in our nature. Secondly it was just a compliment. Just because he thinks that you don't look like someone beat you with an ugly stick does not mean that he wants to jump your bones and make babies with you. And if that is the only reason he does want to jump your bones and make hot monkey love then you really don't want or need him in the first place. Find someone that likes you for what is on the inside and out. Looks change, hair gets cut and crows feet will form. Inner beauty if forever.
3. Just because you had sex with him last night doesn't mean shit. First thing I learned about men, from my favorite lesbian Jada, was that "A man can fuck a sheep, it doesn't mean that be prefers it." This applies to all men in all situations. If a guy tells you he is bi, yeah he may genuinely be so. He, however, has a preference of some type. If a gay man sleeps with a woman, he is not straight. It is who he can develop feelings for and love in that special way that makes the difference. Next situation it applies to is ugly people. Yes, its hard and difficult and may seem contraditory to say but there are ugly people out there. There are also ugly people out there that are having sex. I know you're shocked. So am I. The thing is though that it doesn't matter what it is though, as long as a man can get a nutt off and he is horny he is going to do whatever stays still long enough for him to get it in. Additionally gay men are notorious for being able to have sex with multiple people and not have any feelings for these people. It's just reality. Is it a reality you want though?
4. If a boy kisses you it doesn't mean shit. Gay men love to kiss. They kiss all the time and it doesn't mean anything. They like kissing girls, other boys and ass (not refering to rimming). The boy is going to kiss you now and he is going to kiss someone else in 20 minutes. No matter how perfect the kiss, how long or sloppy, its just a kiss. Unfortunately some of us believe in the whole little thing Julia Roberts had in Pretty Woman. You never kiss a "John". If you kiss him you may forget the illusion and start to feel something. Be careful who you kiss boys. Besides, a kiss sometimes can reveal the things about you that you don' want revealed. There is a lot in a kiss. Then again there is nothing at all. Just be careful and know who you are kissing. Related story. A boy kissed me one night. It was perfect, it was dreamy. He held my chin in hand and placed his lips softly on mine. For a moment we shared the same breath. I melted. The next day he kissed my brother in my room. I don't know that the kiss was as perfect or which one was real or if either were real. But it just goes to show you that a kiss is just a kiss. Some are better actors than others.
To my brother, I don't care that he kissed you. It has nothing to do with you. You were an innocent by stander. We share something more now the way I see it. We both got to experience 10 seconds in heaven. If anything it makes up closer.
To the boy. . . Thank you for reaffirming my existence.
5. So what he cuddles with you every night, it doesnt mean shit. I once loved a boy that came to my bed everynight and let me hold him, pretend he was mine. The truth was he belonged to everyone. There wasn't anyone that he wasn't sharing himself with. I was being fed table scraps thinking that I was getting the main course. Gay men love to cuddle. Why do you think our fag hags love us? We will hold them and act like we are their boyfriends without expecting sex. Everyone likes to be held. It makes you feel safe and secure. It doesn't mean he is in love with you or that he is going to be with you and you alone. My cuddle bunny, also known as Cap'n Asshole, loves cuddling and did it so well. I thought that as long as he was in my arms the world was alright. The rest of the shit he was doing didn't matter as long as I got to hold him. The people he was screwing weren't putting in the hours of cuddling that I was. They were the ones getting cheated. So I thought. I was wrong.
6. If he spends all his time with you, it doesn't mean shit. Some people hate to be alone. Sometimes we make people feel good. Sometimes people are just hella bored. They like the company. It does not mean they are madly in love with you. Take it that you are a nice person and entertaining. Take it that people just enjoy your presence. Do not take it that this person is going to spend the rest of their lives with you. The second your schedules change or someone else just as or more entertaining comes along, they will be gone.
7. Just because you meet a guys parents doesn't mean shit. He probably has mentioned you a couple of times and they are curious who the hell he has been talking about. It's possible that he just wants his parents to meet his friends and they want to meet his friends. You may be old fashion but not everyone is. Just because it's the way you work does not mean that is how he works. Dinner with the parents, means nothing. Maybe he lives with them. So eventually you'll run into them anyway. Spending the weekend with the parents means nothing.
8. So what he took you to his best friend's wedding. No one likes to show up to weddings alone. You were convenient. You were a friend. You said yes. It means absolutely nothing.
Just don't over analyze. If you like someone let them know. If they are a real friend it won't ruin the relationship.
