2002-11-12 - 11:33 p.m.
I went out to dinner with Cap'n Asshole tonight. Gawd it was so strange. I realized that I didn't miss him afterward. I miss what there was. I miss hugging, cuddling and just being with the other person. I miss playing in someone's hair. Rubbing his back as he lay in my arms. Jeff I don't love you anymore. But you represent everything in my past that I am hoping for in my future. Being in love. Thats what I miss. This time though, I want all of the romance, the warm fuzzy feelings and none of the bullshit. And guess what. . . I am willing to wait as long as I have to to get it.
Things I want in a lover: Intelligence, a sense of humor, inspiration, motivation, confidence, inner beauty. I want lazy nights and loving days. I want a porch swing and the man that can hang it himself.
I'm happy. I have my ups and downs. I have my bad days. But I am happy. I am thankful. Sometimes I seem ungrateful and unappreciative. I love Ragen's spaz attacks, I love Maggie Yogurts pants and her spaztic ways, I love Melissa's farting, I love Amanda's ghetto ass and Ann Mar's midgets. I have great friends and I am happy. I am happy for Pablo and his skankalicious ways even if he is going to be with someone else and not me. I'm glad I have him as a friend and don't mind leaving it that way. I am happy.
Shit what do you people want me to do. Smile? JK. much love.
To all my bootylicious hoes out there. Do the damn thang!
