2002-08-21 - 9:24 p.m.
So lets talk about my relationships with men. Men and me are like magnets. Turn them on the correct side and they attract and if just one faces the other way they repel. Men either fall madly in love with me and turn into stalkers or they decide that they want to be my best friend and keep me as their backup. Yeah I sound like a woman right now but screw that shit what they are talking about is the truth.
The ex-husband. . . With him initially he pursued me. Suddenly he decided that we were better off as friends. Great that was fine with me. The part that wasn't alright was when he decided that friendship meant we slept in the same bed, cuddled and his possesions were mine and vice versa. Then he started calling me sweetheart and babe and all these other pet names. Normally any other person that did something like that would have made me want to vomit profusely. Im not up for all that lovey dovey shit. So anyway we spent all our time together and made little sweet phone calls. Such as, "Hi sweetheart, I just wanted to call and say I love you." For me love is a four letter word even more foul than my beloved F word. But this bastard somehow made me say it, constantly.
Because he loved me (supposedly) I was ok with him screwing every other boy that said hi to him. Why because at the end of the night he was coming home to me. Yeah I know I'm a sick bastard.
Next guy was an older man. This guy called twice a day emailed and would randomly stop by to see if he could see me. For a while I thought it was cute. Then one day he and I were scrumping. Now this was no regular scrumpage for me.
To me there is screwing, sex and making love. Im laying there and suddenly I realize he wasn't having sex or screwing, this guy was trying to make love to me. I laid back and enjoied it because it was definately a new experience. After the scrump had ended he turned and said, "I love you." Yeah, so I freaked out, got up and got dressed. I didn't love him. So I ran, stopped returning his calls and disappeared.
Now for me I normally have sex with people to keep them at arms legnth. I cant have sex with someone that I care about anymore. Since I broke things off with my first fiance' I havent been able to have sex with anyone that meant anything to me.
So then there is this guy this guy that started doing the same things as the ex-husband. I think I'm going to have sex with him so that I have an excuse to stop talking to him. That way I wont fall for him.
I know I seem to have intimacy issues but in the past I have learned that I can have more intimacy with someone that I am not screwing than I can with someone I am. So what I have issues. Don't we all.
Sorry this one wasnt satirical enough. Im just tellin it like it is.
